Cheese Slinging Slasher.

The Following is Written by a Just Thoughts Guest Writer, Macy Dukes.

It was a stormy May night in my homeland of Southlake, TX. This summer was a weird time in my life because I learned YOU HAVE NO FRIENDS WHEN YOU GET BACK FROM COLLEGE BC EVERYONE LIVES SO FAR AND LIFE SUCKS.

Anyway.

 I was hanging with my literal only two friends at home, Cheryl and Alphonso, and we wanted to get CRAZY. We decided to finally fulfill our life long dream….SLINGING CHEESE. We went to the local Walmart and bought a butt ton of Kraft cheese singles. Mmmm artificial cheese goodness. We then proceeded to drive around the local out door shopping area, Town Square, and throw cheese on random parked cars. Aka we tossed pieces of cheese onto every luxury vehicle we could find. Aka a lot (it’s Southlake, people, what were you expecting?). After lots of cheese slinging, the thrill was gone, but Alphonso and I had a brilliant idea. LET’S THROW CHEESE ONTO CARS WITH PEOPLE IN THEM!!! Genius, I know.

So we go by this orange mustang and Alphonso so gracefully lands a cheese on the windshield. Cheryl slams her foot on the gas and drives off, but THIS FRICKER CHASES US. At this point, it was raining pretty hard and it was about 12:30/1am so it was pretty dark. We drove around like psychos for 15 minutes until we finally lost them. My life flashed before my eyes several times I was sure I was going to die that night in a firey but also wet (bc it was raining so much it was like God was crying) cat crash.

So with fear in our hearts and cheese residue on our hands, we retuned to Cheryl's hosue, ONLY TO FIND A POLICE OFFICER WITH HER MOTHER. YES. The popo. The fuzz. THE LAW WAS AFTER US. The cop said it was a hit and run and we were like “uh no dude it was a single slice of artificial cheese” and he was like “lol oh okay” and he told the other cop that there was no damage to our car and all was totally fine. Then he was all like “lemme see if the mustang dude wants to press charges for criminal mischief” and we were like oh FRICK no no not the swift hammer of justice.

Luckily they didn’t press charges and the cop was like lol pranks just don’t be stupid. And we were like okay thank u officer love u sm hehe. And all was well.

I lived on edge for a good three days worried the cops would convict me for the many pieces of cheese all over Town Square but ALAS they did not and I am a free woman. Glad I didn’t get arrested bc let’s be honest I would not make it in jail.

Thx for reading loyal followers of AC!!! Pls follow me on insta (@macy_me_rollin_they_hatin) and twitter (@macydukes)

OKAY ILY BYEEEEEE

P.s. don’t sling cheese it seems like a good idea but it isn’t